Secret Targaryen YouTubers
by JohnLocke94
Summary: I promised YouTuber George Alexander I'd write a fic where he was a secret Targaryen while he was doing his reactions to Game of Thrones. I keep my word. Spoilers up to S01E06 - Enjoy!


_**MSBNC Breaking News: Head of Stark Industries mugged in DC while visiting Senator Robert Baratheon - rumors of Lannister Inc. involvement**_

…

Daenerys Targaryen was not entirely sure of her place in the world. For as long as she could remember, Viserys had guided them. He made it clear who their enemies were - Stark Industries, for destroying the family's source of income. Lannister Inc., for orchestrating the "tragic car accident" that claimed the life of her sister-in-law Elia and her children. And Senator Baratheon, for leading the investigation and impeachment of her father, for… but she could not think long of that. The pictures of Rhaegar she still kept, in a small pouch that she thought of as her own, and there were times when she privately wished that it had been Viserys who had confronted the Senator, and Rhaegar who took his little sister far away.

But Viserys was dead now, all the same. Killed in a bar fight with the very thugs he'd tried to hire.

She felt lost. Political power of the sort her father had held didn't appeal to her - she simply wanted home. A red door… she could faintly remember that, at least. Nothing else. Only a red door, and the longing for home.

She stared at the passport in her hands. The people Viserys had been talking to were dangerous, but they might listen to her. She had a bit of the old "family fund", as he'd called it, still left. Enough to live a very comfortable life, for one woman. Barely enough to buy them.

Turning it over in her hands, she stared at the screen. The passport was faked, of course, but expertly done. If she wanted, she could fly to Russia now. Hire Viserys' "friends". Make his plan her own, and maybe - just maybe - if she played her cards right - someday hold the place of her father on Capitol Hill. People liked a comeback story. People liked a _dynasty_ , even if they said they didn't. Revenge on Stark, Lannister, Baratheon…

There are worlds where things change, and in this one, Daenerys Targaryen opened up a new tab and began looking at houses in the south of France.

…

 _ **MSNBC Morning Show: Eddard Stark on Retirement, Inheritance, and his Rivalry with Lannister Incorporated**_

…

"You have an _obligation_ ," Robb Stark's mother told him in an aggrieved tone of voice, tinny over the phone. "You skipped a business meeting to talk to - to _him_ …"

Robb rolled his eyes at the massive wolfhound lying curled at his feet beneath the kitchen table. Bran's injury was just another thing on top of a run of bad luck lately, and mother being stuck visiting Aunt Lysa couldn't have helped much with her current temperment.

" - and of course even if they're under investigation for human rights violations, you know nothing's going to happen, nothing _ever_ happens to those too-perfect golden-haired little - did you know the youngest one gave me a call today expressing sympathies over what happened to Bran? I'd give anything he was behind it, I had half a mind to call the police afterwards and get him arrested, everyone knows what he spends his time doing."

The conversation was derailed slightly by Arya padding sleepily down the stairs, enveloped in the tent-like folds of her thinning Northwall School Shooting Club t-shirt and old grey sweatpants. Probably Jon's.

"Arya's home visiting," Robb managed to interject.

Catelyn sighed. "What, when I'm gone? Of course she is. Tell her she _must_ come by the manor for dinner this Saturday. It's been too long. And she really ought to find a boyfriend."

Robb relayed the information. "At least Sansa won't be able to bring that -"

"Prick?" Arya offered. She was drinking milk straight from the carton. Again.

"Out of university, isn't he?" Catelyn said distractedly.

"Killed him," said Arya into her milk.

"Syphilis," Robb told their mother.

"Heard Renly Baratheon has a boyfriend too," Arya said, grabbing a box of poptarts and turning to ascend the stairs. "Except he's afraid to say so because he's not the one wearing the pants."

…

 _ **CNN Constant Update: … gery Tyrell suffers nip-slip. Stannis Baratheon announces run for governor of Texas, offers platform of "return to moral decency". Hamster becomes YouTube sensation in Los Angeles…**_

…

"Stannis as a governor - that's a horrifying thought," said Loras. He was in his army sweats, pulling his dress uniform from the bed. His weekend leave had been cut short, and he was due to ship out again the following morning.

"He could always make a career out of standing next to Paul Ryan," Renly said from where he was sprawled on the bed. "Makes the man look full of personality."

"Well, you could always -"

Renly laughed.

"You _could!_ "

Grimacing at the television, Renly groped blindly for the nearest phone, scrolled to Stannis' name, and typed angrily:

 _YOU HAVE THE PERSONALITY OF A LOBSTER_

He flung the phone into the covers. "Bloody prick."

Loras looked up from smoothing out his captain's stripes. "We should do something that would make angry. Like have lots of sex."

Breakfast in the Baratheon household dawned, as it always did when the Tyrells were visiting, bright and early. Renly was already sipping tea and conversing quietly with his head of security when the eldest Baratheon roused himself from sleep and announced his presence.

"You little shit."

"Good morning, Robert." Renly barely glanced up as his older brother heaved his not inconsiderable bulk into the vacant seat between him and Loras' sister, who looked vaguely uncomfortable about the arrangement.

"Shut it. Did you send Stannis a goddamn text message last night?" This was followed by the waving of an iPad in one meaty hand.

Renly snorted, spearing an omelet with his fork. "I did."

"Then tell me why in God's name it says, 'Sent from the phone of Loras Tyrell'?"

"It doesn't," said Renly, "You don't see that. It's not actually there."

"It's because they're fucking," said Margaery brightly.

"Oh my god," said Renly.

"Nothing to be ashamed of!" she said briskly. "We've known Cersei is fucking Jamie Lannister for years."

"Oh my god," said Robert.

…

 _ **FOX News 24 Coverage: Stark Passes Millions to Eldest Son, Protesters Gather Over Socialist Family's Liberal Agenda**_

…

 _ **From:**_ _Jon_

 _Met this guy named George but he's got silver hair like Targs? Few years older than me. Thought Bobby B sent the whole family off in disgrace._

 _ **From:**_ _Robb_

 _Wasn't there some fuss about Pres. Aerys' wife canoodling around a bit? Should ask him who's his mum._

 _ **From:**_ _Jon_

 _Please don't use the word "canoodling"._

 _ **From:**_ _Jon_

 _omg he says his mum's name was Rhaella_

 _ **From:**_ _Robb_

 _Probably shouldn't tell dad_

 _ **From:**_ _Jon_

 _So weird that you can know someone like that and then bam, they're a secret Targaryen_

 _ **From:**_ _Robb_

 _Probably shouldn't tell Sansa/Lannister Inc._

…

 _ **BBC Evening News: Tywin Lannister sues World Weekly News over "disgusting rumors"**_

…

"Then he told me to call him back when I didn't need a woman to fight my battles for me," said Jaime.

"He was unimpressed with your efforts at reprimanding Mr. Stark?" Cersei asked her wine glass.

"I think he's started to hire hit men, actually," said Jaime.

There was silence in the drawing room, oak panelling and expensive furniture muffling the sounds of a lovely autumn morning outside.

"And here I expected such warmth from father," Tyrion said at last, pouring himself more wine.

There was a knock on the door; Cersei's most recent intern stuck her head in.

"Your nine o'clock is here," said Sansa, red hair pulled back and clipboard in hand.

"Off to see the Prime Minister," Jaime said, raising his glass.

"Father is scheduled to announce his heir tomorrow," said Cersei, gaze distant. "Stannis Baratheon is running for office, there's a Targaryen running a YouTube channel -"

"Come again?" Tyrion said, raising an eyebrow.

" - and I have the Minister's ear, yet still Father waits."

"God forbid he leave an unworthy heir when he retires to his billions," Jaime agreed.

"Disappointments, all of us," said Tyrion, pouring another glass. "After all, you're a woman."

…

 _ **Buzzfeed: 12 signs that George Alexander is a secret Targaryen - number 7 will blow your mind!**_


End file.
